I have the canvas, but I don’t have the inclination to paint. I could use the excuse that its been too hot (it has) or that I’ve got into watching daytime tv (I have, specifically cagney and lacey) or I’m mooching about too much on social media, like Instagram and Facebook and here (I am)….
But if I explore a bit deeper, pick the scab off the wound so to speak, its more from fear. Fear of rejection, fear that I’m doing this for nothing, fear that it won’t be good enough. Leaving work seems to have made me shy, to all my friends that know me that may sound strange. But I think it’s my default setting. It’s easier to sit at home than involve myself.
I need to fight the tendency to relax. I’ve always been a bit reticent about getting out and about, there is always that book I haven’t read, or the radio play that’s just starting. Or distractions such as doing the washing up or cooking food. Now I’ve got a new kitchen I’m doing more housework for goodness sake. I’ve swapped my paintbrush for a broom!
So, I’ve got to redouble my efforts to be an artist. Try and work round these moods. Be more positive, follow up leads. Or I will just end up sitting in my armchair and vegetating!
What can I say, I love patterns….drawing in one app then modifying it in another couple of apps. Then multiplying the images…….something in my brain makes me keep going, changing, creating new iterations. Playing with the colours, the tones, the sharpness of the images.
You don’t know when you start how they are going to turn out, but I want them to be satisfying. I do like to add spirals, curves and shading.
Two tiers of cats, one tries to get higher than the other. Both sleep, then a tail flickers or a whisker twitches, and they wake, wash, then chase each other round the room, upstairs, into the front bedroom, thundering paws shaking the floorboards.
Hot cats sleep more in this weather, try to find cool places. The newly refurbished kitchen is ideal at night. Apparently there is a lack of insulation in the roof so it gets cooler in the evening. I walk in there and one cat is curled up in the fruit bowl and the other is lying on top of the cooker cover.
One morning this week the male cat was asleep in a box. Why would an animal covered in thick fur decide to take a nap in something that would make it warmer?
Black and White photos of black and white cats appeal to me. You can see more of the patterns on their coats. The background colours are not there to distract your vision and the gradation of greys makes for a more interesting picture.
Sometimes one cat is easier to take a picture of than the other. Our female cat is very friendly when she wants a fuss but more often than not she will find somewhere quiet under a cupboard to sleep. She also runs off when I try and photograph her.
They are a brother and sister…..but the male is twice as large as the female. I like it when they move in synchronisation or lie down in mirror image positions.
I thought we had eaten all the cherries off out two cherry trees, but Richard went out on some step ladders and a broom today and managed to pull down a couple of branches. He came back with about a third of a bowl of the ripest and darkest cherries we have ever had off the trees.
I was surprised, basically because we leave the top half of the trees to the blackbirds. Every year they eat their fill of them. But its such a pleasure to have the fruit that I don’t begrudge the birds any of them.
At the same time our pear tree is gradually filling with fruits, they are quite well hidden because they are not very big yet. Our pears are the same colour as the foliage so they just don’t show up much against the leaves, where the cherries seem to glow with their internal fire of red.
Small apples are also growing slowly. The weather is hot and dry and the apples are not swelling up much. I’m not sure what sort of crop we will get. Last year all but one of the apples fell off in June so at least we are doing better than that.
We got all the fruit trees from our local Woolworths store. That was a few years ago before the firm went out of business. They were a good bargain.
What did I do with the cherries? Washed and stoned them, then had them with a small amount of vanilla icecream. Delicious and cool. Tasty.