Life

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The older you are the faster life seems to go. Whether it is because of all the experiences you have had so you know what to expect, or your mind is so used to days flowing into weeks and months….. Its like the song, you turn around and youth has gone, summer turns to autumn and winter.

This year has been one of the best in my life in some ways. My health has been OK, I’m not at work so I don’t feel all the stress I used to, and because I lost weight I have been able to get about better. In contrast time seems to be affecting my partner more. He is still fit, but struggles to stand up and does not exercise as much. I’m sure it’s more to do with putting on weight, but it’s not helping that he is older than me.

I wish I could go back in time and explain what happened to me as I got older and tell myself what mistakes to avoid.

Life goes on, now I’m more thoughtful and perhaps too cautious. More bothered about going on long journeys and even stupid things like driving in the dark.

Life keeps going. I do as I’m told (mostly) by my doctor. I’m lucky at the moment to have health, home and some happiness. I just hope I’m not tempting fate by saying it!

Old age creeps up on you

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The pile of books on the bookcase in our bedroom is growing larger. Books to read before I go to sleep at night. Real books  not on an ereader.

Pratchett, Herriot, Cornwell, Stewart, all books I have read and need to move so I can read something new. I recently found my thesis on pre Christian celtic art. I wanted to take it downstairs but I forgot so it’s on the pile. Plus photos from years ago, on the top of the bookcase and on the wall. Real photos printed on paper. I have lots of albums of them on top of a wardrobe, which is like a closet but is made of wood with doors.

The elephant in the room is my cpap machine. It’s an air pump that pumps air through a face mask at slightly higher pressure than normal. I wear it at night to keep my airway open. It forces air through my mouth and nose so my airway doesn’t collapse and stop me from breathing. When you are asleep you don’t have control of your muscles and they can become slack and collapse at the back of your throat. Hence the machine.

OK so I’m not that old. It’s just this paraphenalia that makes me Feel old. But I guess I’m lucky. I was diagnosed  Now all I do is read a book till I’m sleepy to take my mind off the mask.